Carpe Eternum

Tonight, on the way home from Megan Strange's house, i ran over a squirrel, i scram, very loud, though no one could hear me, and the squirrel died. i didnt cry. A year and a half ago, my great grandma Nesbitt died. She was close to 90, and fell asleep. i teared up but didnt cry. i loved my grandma, but she had lived a great life,a dn was ready to go. In december a childhood friend of mine died. She went in for an emergancy apendicitis, and the Doctor sliced her aorta. I cried for a few minutes. i hadnt seen her in years, and she died in china while serving her Mighty God. Last night Ross died. He died in his sleep at a party. I cried, very hard. For reasons beyond me.

I was never very good friends with Ross. We went to middle school together and had maybe one or two classes together. All i really knew about him was that he loved his mom and played a mean game of baseball. I knew he was unhappy. I remember in 8th grade, Keri and i went to every middle school baseball game and we cheered every guy on. Of course we had out favorties but every guy got cheered for. When Ross was at the plate Keri would scream "Ross!" and i followed close behind with "Coe" (Rosscoe was his full name). We made posters and his name was in green. Because i thought he needed a happy color, because he was unhappy.

the last time i saw Ross was at my Kroger. It was close to quitting time and he came in with 3 of his friends and they got some food and drinks and came through my line. I remember recognizing him and knowing exactally who he was. memories always come rushing back to me when i see people i havent seen in a while and the memories came that night. It was an odd experience, because i had full knowledge of who he was, and yet he didnt know who i was. His friends flirted, and i played the part of a good cashier. I watched him walk away and knew he wasnt happy. His eyes. they were so sad.

Tonight at the Bible study, Jessie mentioned "storing up treasures in heaven, instead of on earth" because that which is here is fleeting and it fades away, whereas the treasures in heaven are for eternity. And it made me think. We are not here for long. In the grand scheme of things, the 80 years we could spend here are a dot compared to the life we will live either in heaven or hell for eternity. Life is so fleeting. I have seen 2 kids my age die in the past 3 months and i wonder who is next? Who will God want to bring home next? Whose time is up? i know its morbid, but its so true. In God's time he will take us home. Cherish the moments, but dont live for the day. Seize not the day, but eternity. Carpe eternum. why live for th fleeting when you can live for that which never changes.

i wonder why ross was so sad. ill wonder what caused the sadness. he was too young to be that sad and bitter. Did he know he was loved? i certainly hope so. Of course On another side, life is also ever new. My sunday school teacher had a baby 2 weeks ago. My cousin just turned 3. Britt will be 15 next month. and my Maw Maw will be 94 in 3 weeks. Life is still going on, even admist the pain.

Rosscoe Lamar Tinsley.
"May the Lord bless you and keep you, may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, and give you peace." Numbers 6: 24-26