Ch-Ch-Changes

I've never dealt with changes very well. Never really had a need to learn how to change. Everything was basically the same for me up till now. Same elementary school, same house, same middle and high school, same room--Even the same bedroom set up since i was 10. I re-read the same books because i knew the ending and i hate watching different movies because i am always anxious to know what happens. But that all changed this year. It seems that while the NCCS' theme was "Seeking", my year long theme was "Changing". New House, New room set up, new bed, new dress code, new hair style, new glasses and of course the infamous new family/living arrangement. everything seemed to change. I changed.

i dont like change. and yet eveything, eventually changes. Next year i will be a senior. which means many things. New senior privelages, new plans, new study habits (ha) new class sechdule, new teachers. but it also means no jessie, no ellie. No praise team with Jake and Kaitlyn. no awkard moments with Lane George or snide comments by Mike. It means no more Scheck. It means I have to lead things. It means Costa Rica and Senior Retreat. its means graduation. It means leaving everything behind.

i dont think im quite ready for all this change. but its coming, fast. and while im super excited about those senior privelages... im also terrified of the unknown. i dont want things to change. i want the school and my friends and my life to stay the same, but still be allowed to grow up. I feel as if starting now, i start to say good bye. Good bye to the seniors and teachers i love. goodbye to the ones who i didnt always want to love. I start to say goodbye, and start preparing to be left behind.

growing up is hard work, but somebody has to do it.