Christmas has for a long time, my life basically, been one of my favorite times of the year. Not just for the presents and for the trees and the holiday hype Hallmark came up with (even though that stuff is fun in itself.) but it was always a time, that no matter what, my family threw out all of the crap that was going on in our lives and just relaxed, we had fun, ate food, laughed and enjoyed each others company. it was indeed a holly jolly time in the Nesbitt household. But this Christmas was... strange.
with everything that has been going on lately, i was bound to cry at some point. it was hard, leaving Christmas morning with my sisters and my PIMP ride loaded with our "overnight bags" to go spend the night with my dad. it was hard knowing the food she was cooking wasnt for our Christmas dinner, but for the Christmas dinner she was going to enjoy with her friends or whoever. Yes Christmas was wonderful, and i love my cousins and my grandparents and my dad, but something was off this year. Mom and Dad arent together anymore. the life of being one of the "divorcee kids" begins now.
As of January 1st, 2007, all my dad has to do is sign a paper that completely nullifys what would be 20 years of marriage (on jan 17th no less...). i used to pity those whos life was weekend to weekend switching between parents and now, look here i am. i come home wondering if i need to pack for the night at dad's or if i get to stay at my house. i wish i could describe the feelings i, er, feel. but i cant. and actually i dont think you want to know. lets just say it sucks. ALOT. i hate it alot, but there isnt anything i can do. get me through this hell of a a year and 1/2 and then im out. please dear God, get me through this...
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2 comments:
he will. let me tell you about "auld lang syne" sometime. that'll make you cry.
I'm sorry it was so weird. I'm praying for you. and you know I mean it, and not just saying it. or typing it. Psalm 55:22
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